A Founding Father and a whalebone

I learned something from this tweet which was posted after the Supreme Court draft was leaked.

Gouverneur Morris, who wrote the final draft of the constitution, died because he put a whale bone up his dick. I think it's OK to edit the document.

— Allen Ivermectin (@FanSince09) May 3, 2022

A whalebone up your penis? Ouch!! This sounds almost as bad as the Bobbits. I’m kind of sensitive about this stuff. I have had bladder cancer twice and had medical equipment stuck up my penis about 25-30 times. Trust me, it’s painful.

I decided more research on Morris was necessary.

2018 Darwin Awards

He could have used a catheter. They already had them.

This is not the only bizarre thing about Morris:

The Wild Life of Gouverneur Morris, the Most Mysterious Founding Father of Them All

Thanks to Twitter and the rest of the Internet for the education.

"The Constitution is the product of the most respected intellectual minds who founded this country, minds that went on to lead government, become titans of business, and attempt surgery on themselves with a whalebone catheter despite having no medical training."

— McSweeney's (@mcsweeneys.net) 2025-07-01T01:20:14.921Z